In the face of adversity

We all have fears in life. Personal fears … professional fears… fears of failure… and fears of the unknown. All of which can cause us stress and anxiety. These fears can hold us back from bravely pursuing our dreams which means we can miss out on amazing experiences and life opportunities. Living with the fears of what’s not yet come can create an unhealthy pool of anxiety.

That said sometimes things happen in life which means we have no choice but to face into our fears and push through the stress and anxiety to cope in the situation and learn how to build our strength and resilience.

I’ve experienced this recently when my resilience was tested to the limit with my mum being very poorly in hospital. For anyone that’s experienced a loved one in hospital during Covid you’ll know how much additional stress there is with all the rules and the added fear of someone who’s already ill potentially contracting Covid while in hospital. I’ve spent the last two years since Covid came into our lives living with the biggest fear of someone I love being in hospital and me not being able to be with them to care for them. So when my mum was rushed into A&E, not once, but on three occasions and subsequently spent a significant amount of time in hospital being treated I literally had no choice but to live out one of my biggest fears and deal with it one day at a time.

In the face of adversity

What I learned through this traumatic period was that it’s ok to lean on friends and family in time of need … this doesn’t come naturally to me as I tend to believe I need to keep it together and I’m not great at asking for help. I also learned that my need for being in control went into overdrive – not being able to be the person that knows all the answers to medical treatment and having to trust in the experts meant my coping mechanism was to cling on to anything I could be in control of aside from making decisions on mums treatment. But the biggest thing I learned was that my tolerance for stress and my levels of resilience are far far greater than I could have ever imagined.

I shared with a friend how traumatic the whole situation has been and she said to me that she had recently seen a post on insta that completely resonated with the situation:

“anxiety = uncertainty + the underestimation of our ability to cope”

It made unequivocal sense to me … what I’ve been through is exactly this. Raised anxiety because I didn’t have any idea what was going to happen while mum was in hospital coupled with not knowing whether I’d cope in the situation I was faced with !! But you know what… I did cope, and I continue to cope because I take one day at a time and day by day things get better.

One of the things I started during this difficult period (which I plan to continue as a new habit) is writing in a daily gratitude journal. Even in the face of adversity there’s always something in each day we can be grateful for… it can be the smallest thing… the sun shining, the kindness of a stranger or simply being grateful of the people around us. But there is something quite powerful in the action of taking a few minutes each day to reflect back on what’s been, acknowledging something positive and taking the time to write it down. I now have a new habit of writing in my gratitude journal every night before bed, I keep my journal on my bedside table and the last thing I do every day is take a moment of gratitude. This small action helps to build resilience, reduce stress, and build positive emotions because you learn that even when things feel tough there is always something good to draw upon and hold onto.

It’s ok to have days when you feel the stress and anxiety is all too much … we’re all only human. But knowing what your coping mechanisms are in order to get you through difficult periods and finding ways to try and not allow fears to stand in the way of your dreams and ambitions is a helpful habit.

In the words of John Lennon; “Everything will be okay in the end… and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

Credit: Dr Becky Kennedy –

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