When you reach a crossroads

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.”

Quote: Anatole France

Being blessed to have a wonderful support network of friends and family is something I have valued unreservedly my entire life. Since I embarked upon my idea of bringing DREAM BIG : BELIEVE BIGGER to life I have been enveloped in encouragement and support in making it happen.

Life throws its challenges at us all, and as we grow we face new trials which test our reliance, our grit and our ability to stay optimistic. Often the challenges we face are not even our own and we find ourselves giving those that we care about advice.

A friend I deeply admire recently shared with me some thought-provoking words from the French poet, journalist, and novelist; Anatole France. “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” Anatole France was an accomplished literary genius of his time, and his words inspired me to share this story of inspiration. The friend that shared this quote with me is someone I have grown up with, every memorable stage of our lives shared and celebrated, as well as sharing the burden of the tougher times together. Yet, despite these tougher times, I know that by being there to encourage one another we can achieve each and every one of our dreams.

We couldn’t have taken two more different career paths, yet we have both found where we belong, in environments that enable us to thrive where the natural and unique skills we each have can flourish. Me – working in corporate life, loving the contribution I make to people through my passion for HR. And she – setting up her own business designing and creating unique and beautiful furniture to adorn the homes of others. Some may call her an entrepreneur, and others a “Mumtrepreneur” as alongside her awesome business this powerhouse of a woman is also an awe-inspiring mum to three beautiful, smart, loving and exceptional children. This success hasn’t come easy, it’s taken real dedication and tenacity while learning each step of the way.

Many women face the daunting prospect of having to choose between the career they love and bringing up a family. There is the all too often felt guilt of returning to work mums who feel split between their career ambition and wanting to be the best parent they can be. There are also the mums that feel like the idea of returning to the job they did before starting a family is no longer what they want or need for themselves or for their families. What then?? Well, how about seeing this point in time as a crossroads… a chance to re-evaluate… an opportunity. Rather than berating ourselves with negative self-limiting thoughts which all too often result in deep anxiety and stress.

The sense of pride I have for my friend, who when faced with her crossroads pushed through the anxiety to establish a growing business which she prospers in, reminds me of why I do the work I do. In my job I am honoured to be in a position where I can help people to realise their career ambitions, and I can offer this same guidance and support in my personal life with friends and family. Reflecting on this has helped me to see that my approach to workplace mentoring is wholeheartedly authentic, I bring my whole self to work and the guidance I give to those I mentor is delivered with the same care as I give to those I love outside of the work context.

During my career I have coached countless women on that challenging journey back into the workplace. Working through the emotions, and the practicalities while holding onto those dreams and career aspirations. Whether you are the woman who wants it all … the woman who is full of dread and fear… or in fact, any person that has simply hit a crossroads in life [children or not] that’s made you question what’s next? It’s time for you to STOP … grab hold of this moment to ask yourself “What do I really dream of?”.

Do you already know the answer, yet don’t know how to get there? Or do you need to lean on your support network for help you to uncover what it is you want to achieve in life? Either way, the essence of Anatole France’s quote gives us all a great place to begin; Take action… while continuing to dream along the way. Make plans … and have real belief if your abilities.

I have faced various crossroads during my own career, where I have felt disempowered, out of control and fearful of the unknown. During challenging times, it is all too easy slip into a negative mindset, however I have learned I need to make sure I stay open minded, optimistic and take a view that every turn presents a new opportunity. It is at these points I believe our resilience is tested most. Early on in my career [in a time before HR] I was in a role that caused me severe mental health issues, which resulted in me being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This was because I was working in a toxic environment which was led by fear and promoted a management style much like bullying. While this was a very dark time for me personally, I was fortunate to have a good support network around me who facilitated me seeking help and seeing that this was a crossroads in which I needed to be brave and move forward. It’s at those points in our lives that we struggle to see the benefit of what’s happening to us as it can feel so despairing and desperate. However, reflecting back on that time, I appreciate now that it was the beginning of my journey to realising how important it is to look after not only our physical health but also our mental health. I also vowed to never in my life ever allow anyone I work with to feel fear to the degree I did in that job. It is often said that we learn the most from the terrible managers we experience rather than the great ones!

It isn’t unusual in corporate life for businesses to make commercial decisions which impact people’s roles within the operation of a business. When you work in HR you experience being on both sides of the table when these changes happen. This is without exception the toughest part of having a career in HR, essentially you are playing a part in making a fundamental shift in someone’s life by changing or removing the job that individual does…presenting that person with their own crossroads.

So, whether it’s a significant life change like starting a family… a job change due to circumstances outside of your control or simply a point in time that you know you need to do something different. What action can you take right NOW?

How about creating a journal … documenting all that you dream of? Writing down your thoughts is proven to have far greater impact than just thinking about them. By writing them down you can begin to use this as the beginning of your plan. Journaling is something I have personally found powerful in helping me to gain clarity in my vision. But what’s important is that you find what works best for you.

Own your plans, live your dreams … start NOW. DREAM BIG : BELIEVE BIGGER

PS: here’s a few faves of mine…

Dedication. This story is dedicated to my beautiful friend and inspiration; Emma, and to her successful business: Design Retro Brighton

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